The EZ-Splode Oven™

Dinner's Ready... RUN.

0:30 ! ! EZ-SPLODE
$89.99 $49.99
★★★★★ 4.8/5 (2,847 reviews)

Key Features

  • Self-cleaning (via explosion)
  • Built-in 30-second countdown timer
  • Reinforced viewing window
  • Includes 1 pair of safety goggles
  • Compact design
  • Pre-set temperature: 5,000°F
Do not use indoors. Do not use outdoors. Do not use.

Features That Redefine Cooking

💥

Self-Cleaning (Via Explosion)

Why scrub when detonation does the work? Simply initiate the self-clean cycle and evacuate the premises. Your oven will be spotless — because it won't exist anymore.

⏱️

30-Second Countdown Timer

Gives you just enough time to reach minimum safe distance. We calculated the average sprint speed of our customers and added a generous 2-second buffer.

🪟

Reinforced Viewing Window

Shatter-resistant up to first use. Watch your food cook from a safe distance — or what you thought was a safe distance.

🥽

Complimentary Safety Goggles

For the optimist in you. One pair included with every purchase. Additional pairs strongly recommended but sold separately.

📐

Compact Design

Fits on any countertop it hasn't destroyed yet. Sleek pastel pink exterior says 'I'm cute' while the internals say 'run.'

🌡️

Pre-Set Temperature: 5,000°F

The only temperature. We removed the dial because options create hesitation, and hesitation is time you could spend evacuating.

Technical Specifications

Dimensions 18" x 14" x 12" (pre-detonation)
Weight 25 lbs (before), 0.3 lbs (after)
Power Source Chaos
Max Temperature 5,000°F (non-adjustable)
Timer Range 30 seconds (non-negotiable)
Warranty Voided on unboxing
Color Pastel Pink / Scorched Black
Certifications Pending (indefinitely)

Destruction Testimonials

★★★★★

“I set it to 'bake cookies' and it launched my oven door into the neighbor's pool. Cookies were perfect though.”

— Karen R.
★★★★☆

“Lost my kitchen island but gained a skylight. Fair trade.”

— Brad W.
★★★★★

“My kids' science fair volcano had NOTHING on this. We won by default because the school evacuated.”

— Tammy S.
★★☆☆☆

“The countdown timer is too short. I only made it to the hallway.”

— Greg P.
★★★★★

“Insurance adjuster literally said 'what am I looking at.' 10/10 would bake again.”

— Priya K.

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