Open Cans Via Low Earth Orbit.
| Dimensions | 14 ft L × 22 ft H × 6 ft W (assembled) |
| Weight | 1,800 lbs (without counterweight) |
| Counterweight | 90kg lead (sold separately) |
| Launch Velocity | 7.8 km/s (orbital insertion speed) |
| Can Altitude | ~400km (low Earth orbit) |
| Retrieval Radius | ~3 miles (weather dependent) |
| Construction | Hand-hewn oak, hemp rope, iron fittings |
| Required Permits | 7 (none currently granted) |
"Launched a can of chickpeas at 4 AM. Found it opened in my neighbor's birdbath three miles away. The chickpeas were still inside. Incredible engineering."
"My wife moved out after the first launch. But every can in this house is perfectly opened. I see this as an absolute win."
"The 90kg counterweight fell through two floors and is now in my basement. On the bright side, the can of tomato soup achieved orbit exactly as described."
"I have received phone calls from the FAA, the FCC, NASA, and two foreign embassies. The cans are opened, though. They are beautifully opened."
"Launched a can of tuna from my backyard in Ohio. It landed opened in a field outside Lisbon, Portugal. I don't know how to get my tuna back but I respect this product deeply."
"UNESCO sent a cease-and-desist, then a second one, then a third. I've framed all three next to the trebuchet. The whole collection brings me more joy than any opened can ever could."