The Chainsaw Breadcutter™

Every Slice Could Be Your Last.

DANGERBAKE
$129.99 $79.99
★★★★☆ 4.5/5 (1,847 reviews)

Key Features

  • Gas-powered 2-stroke engine (45cc)
  • 18-inch hardened steel bread chain
  • Adjustable slice width (thick to “gone”)
  • Built-in exhaust smoke flavor system
  • Crumb launch radius: ~25 feet
  • Works on all bread types (and most furniture)
Not for indoor use. Not for outdoor use. Not for use.

Why The Chainsaw Breadcutter™?

⛽️

45cc 2-Stroke Engine

Originally designed for competitive lumberjacks. We put it in a bread knife because regular serrated edges felt “too safe.” Pull-start required. Arm strength recommended.

⚖️

18-Inch Bread Chain

Hardened steel chain with micro-serrated teeth optimized for gluten destruction. Cuts through sourdough, rye, and accidentally through whatever’s behind the sourdough.

💨

Smoke Flavor System

The 2-stroke exhaust doubles as a flavor enhancer. Every slice comes pre-infused with a subtle gasoline-oak finish that pairs surprisingly well with butter.

🍞

Adjustable Slice Width

From delicate 0.5mm carpaccio-style bread slices to “the entire loaf is now crumbs.” Precision depends on how steady your hands are after the pull-start.

💥

25-Foot Crumb Radius

Our engineers optimized chain speed for maximum crumb distribution. Your kitchen, dining room, and living room will all know you made toast.

🪵

Multi-Surface Compatible

Bread, bagels, baguettes, cutting boards, countertops, tables — the Chainsaw Breadcutter doesn’t discriminate. If it’s in the way, it’s getting sliced.

See It In Action

BREAD ! ! ? PERFECT SLICES BZZZZZT!

Technical Specifications

Engine 45cc 2-stroke
Chain Speed 4,500 RPM
Noise Level Lumber Yard (115 dB)
Guide Bar 18 inches
Slice Width 0.5mm – ∞
Fuel Type Regular unleaded
Crumb Radius ~25 feet
Safety Guard Decorative

Destruction Testimonials

★★★★★

"Finally, a bread knife that requires ear protection. My sourdough has never been sliced so aggressively."

— Karen M.
★★★★★

"Cut through a baguette, the cutting board, and halfway through the table. Perfect slices though."

— Dave R.
★★★★☆

"The neighbors called the police because they thought someone was cutting down trees. I was making toast."

— Linda J.
★★★★★

"My toast now has a subtle smoky flavor from the exhaust. Didn't expect that feature but I love it."

— Mike P.
★★★☆☆

"It says 'bread cutter' but I've used it on cheese, ham, and accidentally my kitchen island."

— Steve W.
★★★★★

"The pull-start is tricky before coffee but the adrenaline rush wakes you up faster anyway."

— Rachel T.

Customers Also Viewed

FlameThrow 3000

"Preheat to Hell"

View Product →

Blender of Doom

"It Blends Everything. Including the Counter."

View Product →

Crockpot Shotgun

"Slow Cook. Quick Draw."

View Product →

GlassFountain Sink

"Hydration Has Never Been More Exciting"

View Product →