From Bread to Toast to Plasma.
| Dimensions | 6 ft L × 3 ft W × 3 ft H |
| Weight | 1,200 lbs (dry) |
| Engine Type | F-16 turbofan (refurbished) |
| Toast Speed | Mach 2.1 (0.003 seconds) |
| Operating Volume | 165 dB (hearing damage guaranteed) |
| Fuel Type | JP-8 jet fuel (sold separately) |
| Exhaust Temperature | 1,800°F (afterburner mode) |
| FAA Classification | Pending (they keep hanging up) |
"I pushed the lever and the windows left. Not broke — left. They're in the yard. The toast is in the neighbor's yard. My eyebrows are somewhere in between. Five stars."
"The toast was perfect. Golden brown. Slightly crispy. Embedded in my fence 300 yards away. I ate it there. It was the best toast I've ever had. I could not hear myself chewing."
"My dog won't come inside anymore. My neighbors won't come outside anymore. The HOA sent a letter. The letter caught fire in the exhaust. I consider the matter resolved."
"The FAA called. They said a commercial pilot reported toast striking his windshield at 30,000 feet. They asked if I owned a Jet Engine Toaster. I said no. The toaster was running behind me. We both knew I was lying."
"I loaded a baguette at ramming speed. The afterburner engaged. The baguette achieved escape velocity. There is now a perfectly toasted baguette somewhere in the upper atmosphere. I hope it's happy."
"Ear protection included. It is rated for 85 dB. The toaster operates at 165 dB. I appreciate the gesture. I can no longer appreciate much else. The toast, however, is transcendent."